So I am constantly told by people that "you are so strong" they often follow up with, I could'nt do what your doing. I mean I'm super greatful to friends, people I have never met but know what happened to Our Family @ the hand of my husband, and appreciate their kind words. However, those words are a constant reminder of our new life. 

It's hard to remeber a short year ago and how we were living, it seems so distant now. I was home with my kids, had been the last 12 years, and how I lived vicariously through him,we'd been together since I was 15 years old,22 years in total.We had created a great life from not so great upbringingings but made Our lil family work. He became successful as a Medical provider, we opted that I'd stay home to be with the kids as he was away a lot, it madesense  one parent should always be home with the kids. It worked for us, but secretly I knew I wanted more... What could I need? I had it all, brand new cars, a beautiful home, 4 kids who I love, but each day I woke up feeling like I was in the movie Groundhog day, and knew there had to be something more then the life I had...

I didn't ask for my life to take such a drastic turn, but then again, I wished it would. I'd say often out loud, "God, Please through me a scare, make me realize my life is amazing," not a bad scare, but something to wake me up.It happened, just like that.

I don't want to go into details about what happened, but just know it's something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.  People were hurt, and lives forever changed. People I will never meet but sadly I share some if their pain. We are victims of him, but let that not hold us down or be fearful. We are safe now from harm, and still have so much Life in us. I'm choosing to share my story, I'm not ashamed, no reason to be. I didn't make those choices, but because of those choices, I'm making my own matter the most now. Rising above the ashes, the storm has settled and now it's time to rebuild.  It certainly won't be an easy task, surely won't happen overnight, It's going to be a hard road, but what other choice do I have? I'm the captain of this ship now, really I've always been, I just never gave myself the credit for it. I've help create the memories that now adorn the walls, that fill the scrapbooks, I took those pictures, I dug in the sand at the park with our kids, I washed and put Spider-man bandaids on that scraped knee. I am the Victor, no more the victim, we won't be held back or labeled because of him, not me, not my amazing kids. Their going to do big things in their life, work and education, yes now they'll need college scholarships, no more 529 plans here, but they'll be ok. They are ok, yes their sad at times and never want to talk about it.It's the constant "elephant in the room" where ever we go, but I know we will be ok, it's time to rise above the ashes, clean up our wounds and carry on, we've got this:-) 

I have a new lease on life now, working again, making people laugh at the Salon, co workers and clients!! I'm in School too, always wanted to be a Nurse and while I'm not going to be one, I am in class's preparing me for the medical field.  I'm thriving, getting good grades, wow Me! Who would've thought? I certainly didn't think I would ever leave the comfort of my Yoga pants and high pony tails for dressing up everyday, putting on makeup, and being in the public eye again, but I am.

If I can do it, anyone can. This is one of my mottos and the reason behind my blog, teaching Women that we are Strong beings, and deserve to be what we want to be.Don't hide behind your significant other, or your kids, keep your hand in the pot with the life you had before all of the greatness. Do what you love and do it with all of your heart and with Passion, don't have ass anything. You are Amazing and deserve to show the World what all you have to offer.

I think this awakening was meant to happen, I'm sad it happened at the hand of Him and to his victims, although I'd like to say this" We can no longer be that, the victims, we are Victors and deserve to have our voices heard"